A friend of mine just recently broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. I had been through couple break up myself in the past. It really sucks.

There are 3 types of breakup scenarios:

1. Mutual decision

2. You are the dumper

3. You are the one being dumped

While we want all break ups to be mutual, this is rarely the case. If you are the dumper, most of the efforts and thinking are done prior to the ‘talk’. On the other hand, if you are being dumped, this is just the beginning.

Looking back at my past experiences , I went through several stages:

- Shock (as I didn’t see this coming)
- Angry (All I could think of was how he’s a bastard for dumping me and not providing a reason that I could understand/refuse to understand)
- Denial (hoping he realise that he’s made a mistake and asked me back)
- 2nd Denial (realising that it’s really OVER, maybe me and him can still ’be friends’, and one day we’re back as a couple)
- Blaming myself (I went through lots of thoughts of regrets and what I could have done to prevent this. Going through what I’ve done wrong to cause the breakup).
- Sad (I cried a lot, going through memories of time spent together, couldn’t eat/sleep/function)

The good thing about breaking up (other than loosing lots of weight ;p) is it’s hard at that time, but as time moves on, I was glad that it happened as I got out of  ‘unhealthy relationship’ and be a stronger person. There’s a very bright light at the end of a dark and cold tunnel.

So, the big question is How do you get over a breakup? For me – I hung out with my friends/family, kept myself busy at work, dashed off overseas to travel (can be as short as 2 weeks – couple years), find a new hobby, take any kind of ‘medications’ (pills, weeds) and partied hard  (I wouldn’t recommend the last 2 though as the aftermath were bad – emotionally and physically).

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